Christmas

I suppose a more fitting title would be boxing day but it doesn't make too much of a difference. I havn't felt very christmassy this year. This may have something to do with the fact that I have been ill [most of sunday was spent throwing up and I've barely eaten since and I think I've now caught Mum's chest infection] i forced myself to make an appearance at work today just to make an effort. Dad came with me and refused to let me work. it's quite a good job I showed up even if just to tell them I was going home since the other 6 people who didn't show have had their contracts terminated. To be fair, I completed my shift on Christmas Eve even though I should have been in bed, they can't fault me for dedication! The meal out that night was lovely, despite the fact that I could barely eat.

It has been a regular Christmas =) The whole family was back together. I can't remember the last time all four of us were at home at the same time. Back in July at the latest. It's also the last time for a long while until we're all home again. I'm not sure how mum is dealing with this concept. She has to see one of us off a week for the next 3 weeks and then she's faced with living in our huge house by herself. Bound to be strange. Personally, I think it would be much easier for mum if she wasn't the one to take me to the airport; it would be most upsetting for her and she'll cry and make me cry.

It's stupid how unprepared I am. I really must make a start on things. I shall write some lists. How daft does that sound? But it will help me know what I have yet to do/buy etc. Oh, my visa invitation letter came through. It's all in chinese, with the exception of my name. Seems bizarre and still not quite real; I can't possibly be leaving in 3 weeks.

bad day

Yesterday was one of those days, the kind where from the minute you wake up, you know it is not going to be a good day. It wasn't a bad day to be fair, it's not as if anything went horrible wrong it just wasn't a good day. To begin with I rolled out of bed around 5 minutes after i was planning to set off. However thanks to less traffic than I anticipated, I was still 10 minutes early. I'm not quite sure how I managed that one. I just didn't feel good either. I think my blood pressure was down, at least I remained standing!! I managed to forget completely about band practice, after finally turning up, the church was absolutely freezing, as in my fingers did not want to move. Never a good sign when one has to play the piano. I also managed to choose a really bad time to let it slip that I did not in fact want to play. It's nothing to do with the band but I play the piano for me, my personal enjoyment, it's always been that way, and I'm not in the right place in my heart to be playing in worship, because I'm not playing for God and worship is supposed to be all about God. Perhaps I should have mulled it over for a bit longer.

There was a bit of bad news as well. An old friend of mine had been suffering from cancer and she died at the weekend. It was her funeral yesterday. I missed it. Despite the fact that I hadn't seen her in 4 years it was still quite upsetting. She was such a lively person, and to die so young..... It's impossible to imagine what her family must be going through. There's that quote "no parent should ever have to lay their own child to rest."

I had half thought that I was desensitised to death. My family is large and aging which resulted in near enough at least one person per year passing away, but it's different when it's someone my age. It's insane. It doesn't seem fair. It made me seriously appreciate life, that short of being hit by a bus, I am going to go and do something that most people wish they were brave enough to have done themselves. I made the right choice taking a gap year, and I will be making the most of this opportunity.

the beginning

I’m pretty excited about my 37 days left in the country. That’s just over 5 weeks until I move abroad. By myself. Shouldn’t I be at least a little scared? If so, why am I so nonchalant?? I suppose the realisation of it hasn’t hit me, after all I am yet to get my visa. My invitation letter is due to arrive in the next fortnight. Perhaps then it will begin to sink in. I have so many things that I have to organise still. I made a start! As in, I created an accessible e-mail address and this blog so everyone can keep track of how I’m doing and I’ve written the odd list but it’s quite limited progress. My mother keeps gently reminding me that I need to see a doctor about some vaccinations. It would be an awful shame if I were to come down with malaria or something similar after all! I have one less thing on my mind though – money. I have to admit, despite protesting that the liberty of doing nothing was nothing but bliss, I was actually rather bored and a little concerned about how I would be able to sustain myself for the first month with such limited funds. Thankfully, an income means this is no longer a problem! One less worry, now I can concentrate on making a start on my Christmas shopping.