bad day

Yesterday was one of those days, the kind where from the minute you wake up, you know it is not going to be a good day. It wasn't a bad day to be fair, it's not as if anything went horrible wrong it just wasn't a good day. To begin with I rolled out of bed around 5 minutes after i was planning to set off. However thanks to less traffic than I anticipated, I was still 10 minutes early. I'm not quite sure how I managed that one. I just didn't feel good either. I think my blood pressure was down, at least I remained standing!! I managed to forget completely about band practice, after finally turning up, the church was absolutely freezing, as in my fingers did not want to move. Never a good sign when one has to play the piano. I also managed to choose a really bad time to let it slip that I did not in fact want to play. It's nothing to do with the band but I play the piano for me, my personal enjoyment, it's always been that way, and I'm not in the right place in my heart to be playing in worship, because I'm not playing for God and worship is supposed to be all about God. Perhaps I should have mulled it over for a bit longer.

There was a bit of bad news as well. An old friend of mine had been suffering from cancer and she died at the weekend. It was her funeral yesterday. I missed it. Despite the fact that I hadn't seen her in 4 years it was still quite upsetting. She was such a lively person, and to die so young..... It's impossible to imagine what her family must be going through. There's that quote "no parent should ever have to lay their own child to rest."

I had half thought that I was desensitised to death. My family is large and aging which resulted in near enough at least one person per year passing away, but it's different when it's someone my age. It's insane. It doesn't seem fair. It made me seriously appreciate life, that short of being hit by a bus, I am going to go and do something that most people wish they were brave enough to have done themselves. I made the right choice taking a gap year, and I will be making the most of this opportunity.